


Complexities

by widowsgf (elaaden)



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 11:08:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24968728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elaaden/pseuds/widowsgf
Summary: Jaal has a difficult relationship with gender.
Relationships: Jaal Ama Darav & Ryder
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Complexities

**Author's Note:**

> hate how in me:a the angara have multiple genders but they were modeled to be sexually dimorphic and no one except one angaran npc on the nexus talks about angara and their relationship with gender. so have this. as a side note: this is far enough long in the story that jaal and ryder have established a mutual trust and friendship.
> 
> this is also sort of me venting a bit about my own feelings about gender :pensive:
> 
> my ryder is also an asari. you can read about them here: https://katagawajnr.tumblr.com/ocs

"Jaal, I've been... meaning to ask you about something."

Jaal turned his attention from the computer in front of him to the Pathfinder standing before him. Cerys sat down on the stool across from him and placed their hands in their lap. "Of course. What is it you want to know?"

"We've been asking each other questions, a lot lately, about our respective species. One stuck out more than the others." Cerys explained, trying to keep eye contact to seem more calm and collected, but it was proving to be hard. They found their eyes darting to the screen behind Jaal. Questions of this magnitude were always tricky to ask - or rather, talk about. "I overheard the Angaran ambassador on the Nexus talking about gender, and remembered what you asked me about the asari and our concept of gender."

Jaal hummed. "Mm, yes, I recall us talking about it." He said. "Are you asking about the angara and _our_ concept of gender? To us, it is not so easily defined, but we have made... adjustments, to deal with humans and their simplicity."

"Like pronouns?"

"Yes." Jaal nodded. "Is that what you're trying to ask me?"

"Uh... sort of." Cerys nodded, finding their eyes darting once again. "I heard the ambassador mention you have multiple genders. Is that true?"

"It is." Jaal answered. "The angara have... many, many genders. I don't think I could list every one on the spot. Perhaps I could send you a document?"

"I'd appreciate that." Cerys smiled slightly. "I mostly wanted to ask you... about your feelings on it. I've already mentioned my fluidity when it comes to gender, but I don't think we've discussed how you feel." Cerys cleared their throat. "If you're up for it, that is. You don't have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable."

"It's something I've thought about a lot, over the years." Jaal explained. "I don't feel uncomfortable talking about it with you, specifically, it's just... something I have a hard time dealing with myself." Jaal shifted where he was sitting. Jaal and Cerys often had conversations about things that would be considered tough conversations - for the both of them, it was just how they bonded, both as friends and aliens belonging to two very different species.

"Take your time." Cerys reached out and placed one of their hands gently on Jaal's forearm, giving him a reassuring look.

Jaal let out a deep sigh, then sat up a little straighter in his seat. "I think the best way to explain it would be... I don't feel I align with the concept of a gender. None of it appeals to me." Jaal started to explain. "The gendered pronouns humans tend to use don't bother me, exactly, but they don't _comfort_ me, either."

"I know how you feel." Cerys said with a nod. "I've had to deal with humans using 'she' pronouns for me on instinct for hundreds of years. It can be draining sometimes, but it's also... not something I'm particularly bothered with. It's more the stigma surrounding the monogender of my species and our complex relationships with gender that bothers me."

"Yes, exactly." Jaal agreed. He sighed, and let his eyes wander around the room before they came to look at Cerys again. "I'm glad we can share these things with each other. It feels... like we're closer, because of it."

"Me, too, Jaal." Cerys smiled at Jaal. "If you ever want to talk more about this, I'm always open to discussion. I know I'm passionate about a lot of things, but this is something I like to consider myself well-versed and most passionate about."

"Of course. I value your opinions on things like this, you know." Jaal remarked. "We are both very similar but also, very different. I enjoy every moment I am able to talk about these things with you."

Cerys smiled up at Jaal, and made no hesitation to reach out and grab his hand to squeeze it gently.

**Author's Note:**

> it's probably incredibly obvious but i don't care for how bioware created the asari as a monogendered species and even said themselves that asari have no concept of gender yet give them gendered pronouns anyway. same with the angara, it just rubs me the wrong way and i really wanted to expand on that lore but give it my own touch as a trans person that struggles w gender.
> 
> you can find me on tumblr @ katagawajnr


End file.
